Since I’ve always been a broke-ass, I can only but assume the way the money-privileged make friends is to buy them. I have yet to have someone want to buy my friendship–which like my love–is for sale and I’m definitely looking for tips on how to make this happen. But,

When I was in Las Vegas last weekend, the thing I could not stop obsessing over, apart from the buffets and 99-cent margaritas, was alllll the breast implants. It was like a breast implant convention. And I guess most of America is used to this, but I was somewhat alarmed.