I am the proud owner of a set of bangs.  Like bang ambassador Zooey Deschanel, I have sported face-eating fringe for my entire life– try as I might, I have never been able to grow them out without feeling like my forehead looks a touch too “Teresa Guidice from Real

The other day, I received a plain envelope in the mail.  I wasn’t expecting it, and was perplexed as to what it could possibly be.  The return address was from one “Crystal Skull” in Chicago.  “Crystal?  Who the hell is Crystal?  I don’t know any ‘Crystal’ in Chicago,” I thought

First things first: I have never been a “wild child.”  During my teen years, I was a dedicated captain of my high school’s Quiz Bowl team– our post-match parties consisted of watching Team Member L do the “human pretzel” behind a dumpster in the Denny’s parking lot, and Team Member

When you’re trying to figure your life out and workin’ hard and struggling to Rise to the Top and all of that good stuff, things can get a little… desperate.  So desperate, in fact, that you might feel the need to seek out some spiritual guidance.  No, no, no.  I

Recently, I plopped down onto my couch to watch the Martin Scorcese documentary about vintage babe George Harrison, titled George Harrison: Living in the Material World.  I noticed two things, the first of which being that my dad looks scarily like Eric Clapton:              

My friend and I have this ongoing joke in which he always tells me that he’ll “never hire me for anything.”  Let me explain a little better.  I do the stupid/awkward/unlucky things that I always do– open a bag of Cheetos with a little too much force that causes them

At an art show the other day, I met a princely man in a pea green windbreaker,  tribal print backwards baseball hat, and turquoise necklace.  I knew that we would get along, and not just because he was channeling a nature walk-loving Will Smith circa Fresh Prince of Bel Air-slash-

Okay, actually, I mean my daddy issues.  And I don’t mean all of that psychological hoo-ha about abandonment and male authority figures or whatever.  I’m talking about having the hots for guys in khakis and Hawaiian shirts.  As soon as I see a strapping twentysomething in the same outfit that