Last weekend, my friend Heather and I spent four days as pretend hillbillies.  We’ve always wanted to go to the Deep South– land of deliciously heavy foods, porch drinking, adorable floppy-lipped hound dogs, and people with two first names and cousins for lovers (let’s forget the racism and gross ignorance

It all starts with the call. “WE’RE ENGAGED!” You’re happy they’re finally tying the knot, stoked to hear how he proposed, and touched to have been immediately asked to be her maid of honor (as if anyone else really stood a chance..pfff!) I would say it takes about 1 month for you

Have you ever been so bored out of your mind that you’ve found yourself masturbating just to pass the time? Sadly, you weren’t even horny; you just had nothing else to do. At least, that’s what you thought. Realistically, there were tons of things to do, e.g., doing the laundry,

Wine culture is honestly something that Two-Buck Chuck-swiggin’ simpleton like me just doesn’t understand, but I sure am willing to learn!  Especially when said wine is FREE.  For this reason, you can pretty much count on finding me slurring my words while clutching the shit out of a wine glass

“I think the underlying notion that we should be making decisions on behalf of women for their health care decisions, or qualifying forcible rape versus non-forcible rape, I think those are broader issues, and that is a significant difference in approach between me and the other party.” – Barack Obama

I’ve been known to fancy films that are dark. Dark humor, yes. But, also those that have a dark cast to their cinematography from the natural surroundings of the locations, or the usage of digital color correction that gave O Brother, Where Art Thou?  its sepia-tinted tones that gave the viewer

According to the love of my life, Wikipedia, a sensory deprivation tank is a “lightless, soundproof tank inside which subjects float in salt water at skin temperature.”  Once again, that sly bastard is right. I now know from experience due to a recent trip to the one on my block.

Life is intense. The sun is always too bright. The streets are always too dirty. Your friends are always too dull. Your girlfriend is always wearing those horrible pants you hate. At some point over the past million years or so of facing these realities, Man thought to himself: “Why