Comedy

28 Dec 2016

5 Brooklyn Coffee Shops That Make You Want To Kill Yourself

Sometimes everyone needs a little creative push. The right atmosphere can be the difference between your biggest accomplishment or your worst failure. These Brooklyn coffee shops will be sure to make you take the plunge, providing that it’s into The East River. Lil Skips I have to give number 1

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28 Dec 2016

Comedian You Need To Know: Bridget Everett

In every “I quit!” fantasy, there’s the part where you unleash a string of expletives at your boss, at your co-workers, and even at the intern who can never get your coffee order right (Laura). But what if you could be as profane and as in-the-face of everyone as you

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27 Dec 2016

Val Kilmer as Mark Twain

Val Kilmer is standing on the stage of the Clay Theater and his microphone won’t work. He slumps over, hanging his arms, the classic representation of comical dejection. From the packed house comes a feminine voice, shouting: “I’m your huckleberry!” Without missing a beat, Kilmer mimes and mouths back: “No,

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20 Dec 2016

How To Use Mistletoe Without Being A Creep

Ahhhhh, kissing under the mistletoe! You have it all planned: after partaking in some holiday cheer, you’ll maneuver your object of desire into the door frame where the familiar green twig with white is hangin (if it has red berries it’s Holly, not mistletoe), and you kiss the hell out of

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15 Dec 2016

The Best Drugs to Take Home for the Holidays

It’s that time of year again. You’re leaving the life you built to step back into whatever family dynamic you fled. You’re going to need something stronger than carbs to avoid becoming the worst version of your adolescent self again. Our mantras and best intentions can only get us through

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12 Dec 2016

Death Of The Cam Girl Next Door

Back in 2011, any girl could masturbate for strangers online and collect mad cash in anonymity. But times have changed. The days of “The Cam Girl Next Door” are dead.

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11 Dec 2016

Super Dopeman of the Haight and Ashbury Part II

Driven by a desire for boozy good times, an unlikely and reluctant hero finds himself wielding incomprehensible powers of psychedelic proportions! Stay tuned in, dropped on and turned out for The Adventures of Doug, the Super Dope Man of the Haight and Ashbury.  Read part I here. Doug wasn’t sure whether he’d

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02 Dec 2016

Why Don’t Europeans F***ing TIP?

OFF MENU IS SPONSORED BY EMPEROR NORTON’S BOOZELAND THE TENDERLOIN’S NEWEST HISTORIC DIVE.  HAPPY HOUR NOON – 7PM By Jake Hart  Hello!  Oh you’re visiting NYC from Europe? So that means you can afford the cost of getting on a flying machine from across an ocean to come tool around/spend money(yours or someone

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