Speaking solely in generalities, hipsters live in the Mission and douchebags inhabit the Marina.  Right?  Isn’t that something that we’ve decided on as a culture here in San Francisco?  That white guys can really be only one of those things?  The truth of the matter is that I’ve met plenty of

This show demands a day’s notice because you probably already have brunch plans followed by remote control cars in the park for today.  Plus, it’s friggin David Byrne for free.  Somehow this concert for the Celebrate Brooklyn concert series isn’t a fundraiser and isn’t some no name band.  Oh, what’s

I’ve been meaning to go to Beach Blanket Babylon ever since I moved to the City.  I still haven’t though.  It’s generally just too damn expensive.  Luckily, my friend (who will remain nameless so they don’t get fired over the flask reference) just informed me that, on Sundays, tickets are

  So I’ve decided to start an advice column here on Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website called Poor Advice.  Think of it as Dear Abby with a drinking problem.  Basically, this is where your questions get answered and nothing is taboo.  And generally speaking, the best piece of advice I can

  What is the difference between a stripper and a cabaret dancer?  About 30 lbs.  At least, so goes the stand-up joke.  Annnyway, there is so much free stuff going on today and tomorrow it seemed difficult to choose based on pure merit, so I took into consideration a little

By the nature of our strange little micro-climate, San Francisco is not really an “outside” city.  Forecasters have all but given up on accurately predicting the each day’s weather, and every time you leave the house you must bring at least a couple layers, just in case.  That’s why when the weather

Once a week we present Broke-Ass Porn.  It’s visually stimulating material for the financially impaired.  If this shit doesn’t get you going, you’re not as broke as you thought: What do you do when you need to be satisfied in two totally different ways and you haven’t a penny to

The best doughnut related thing that comes to mind right now is a line from Vonnegut’s “Slapstick“, which he uses when someone not related to him in a newly devised artificial family structure for society asks him for help:  “Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!”