Fuck buying umbrellas. It’s a waste of money because first off, you are guaranteed to lose them immediately, and second, if you manage to keep an umbrella for any extended period of time, it falls apart. The umbrella industry does this on purpose because they know people are just going

Q: Dear Half-Price Headliner, Is it rude to show up at a holiday party empty handed?  If so, how can I bring something and not go broke doing so? A: It depends on the party.  If the gathering is casual and impromptu, then BYOB is the general rule, and you

There is a website floating around currently called whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com. The title is apt, obviously, because the site’s main and sole focus is to present, plainly, the current-president’s ostensibly impressive list of accomplishments. Elegantly glib, swear words are thrown around for effect. “Big fucking deal,” it says. What else?” For the

These days it seems like almost everyone I know are (like maybe four people, two I only know from the internet) in the “family way” and about to introduce another bundle of joy/little monster (potato/potatOH) in the world. Accompanying this terrifying event where the woman almost splits her body in

Background to this post: there is a long-haired dachshund puppy living somewhere near my apartment that I cannot even be around, because she is too cute. A few weeks ago I saw her tethered outside Dumont Burger, waiting for her owner, and I stopped to give her a pet and

Broke asses unite! There’s one thing that’s n FREE do to but costly to gain in this country, and while it doesn’t involve drink specials it’s still worth your time. Naturally, I am talking about voting, and this election is as significant as it is viral video prone. I’m based

Kimberly Palmer, author of Generation Earn: The Young Professional’s Guide to Spending, Investing, and Giving Back was recently profiled in the New York Times. The whole thing about her book/her deal is that she says that young adults in can save 1/3 or 1/4 of their income if they do

In accordance with 2010’s calendar, Halloween this year is effectively split in two parts: Today, Halloween proper, is the day for the kids. They’ll dress up and promenade and collectively beg until mom and dad decide they’ve had enough candy. Then its over. Saturday night, which you are more than likely recovering