Just because you’re a broke-ass doesn’t mean everyone has to know. ~If you’re like me, you really do not see the necessity in purchasing socks and view it as a mere inconvenience as well as a waste of money, so you would rather just steal them from your boyfriend’s or

The other day I ran in to Broke Ass Stuart eating pizza at shop on Valencia. He invited me to sit down … and so I did. I ate pizza he had wings. We pondered the greater things in life, talked about heavy topics, questioned the meaning of many things … and then the conversation got HEAVY! “So Stefan, (I GOT WORRIED) would you rather be Vanilla Ice or Mick Jagger?”

I can’t tell if I’m waking up or just going to sleep. My drunken stupor has muffled my senses, each coming in and out of focus in a kaleidoscope of sound and touch. I slowly begin to ascend the tiers of sobriety, and as I do, my senses return. There is sound.

Rule of thumb: you can be poor, just don’t be annoying about it. Everyone’s trying to get by. Especially if you live in an outrageously expensive city such as New York or San Francisco. But if you do indeed live in such a city, then you know how utterly amazing

Ugh, rich people. They’re always making us regular Joes feel so goddamn… poor. They drive around in their fancy-schmancy white stretch limos, eating caviar and endangered, baby mammals with their pinky sticking out, all while perpetually drowning in a sea of diamonds and mink stoles (paws still attached, of course).

“Living at home is such a drag. Now, your Mama threw away Your best porno mag.” – Fight for Your Right by the Beastie Boys Once upon a time, living at home was an unfortunate situation which only losers, failures, and the mentally unstable would have to endure. See, moving

Before I even had much sense of what oral sex was (“it’s when you say naughty things into someone else’s ear,” my fellow 6th grader assured me), I knew that going down on a girl was something very unpleasant, something that smelled like fish (turns out Chicken of the Sea is

Just a little word of advice for the fellow broke-ass bus and train riders: There ARE actually a list of do’s and don’ts that may be useful to some or useful to others when it comes to riding the bus or train. These rules are also specific to NYC travelers.