Jake Warren

We’re All Going To Die
Jennifer Lawrence’s character screamed it at her interviewers for downplaying a comet headed towards Earth in Netflix’s Don’t Look Up. Raja said it with wonder in her eyes during a commencement speech for the queens of All Stars 7. It’s one of Homer’s favorite sayings on The Simpsons, as well

Four Reasons Not To Celebrate the Fourth of July
The Fourth of July supposedly symbolizes freedom. It means liberty, self-governance. Independence from tyranny. July 4th is supposed to be fun, because living in America was supposed to be fun. The ruling fathers wove opulence into the foundational documents of this nation. They killed and enslaved for extravagant wealth, for

PTSD: A Breakdown
Post- You might’ve pictured a grizzled veteran, head in his hands in a gloomy V.A. hospital on the outer edge of town. I know him well. He drinks more than he used to, enough for people to notice. The man is on medications that extinguish his sex life. He’s gained

San Francisco Pride: Staving Off The Comedown
A San Francisco Pride Experience Judging by looks alone, San Francisco was more than ready to party. An LED rainbow beamed up Market Street from a scissor-lift platform stationed in front of the Ferry Building. The leeward hillside below Sutro Tower bore an inverted, bright-fuschia triangle. It shone hot-pink at

Antidepressants: A Thank-You to My Drugs
BUPROPION (Wellbutrin), 300mg daily You’re such a slut but I like you that way. Everybody likes you that way. Magazines call you “the happy, skinny, sexy pill,” for that covetous sexual energy you bring back to the body. Why shouldn’t they? Like spring after winter you followed a fatty, flaccid

BART Fare Increase Approved By Officials
Shootings. Stabbings. Derailments. Operating system and equipment failures. “Unscheduled” track maintenance. Civilians walking in the tunnels. These are only some of the problems plaguing our Bay Area Rapid Transit system. Ridership is 30-to-40% of its weekday pre-pandemic levels, and the aging agency sees about half its previous weekend riders. Despite

The Potential Volcanic Threat to San Francisco
In 1997, James Bond and Sarah Connor teamed up against the tallest and most powerful adversary of the nineties disaster-film revival: a volcano. The plot of Dante’s Peak is simple: a quiet town at the foot of a sleeping giant ignores its reawakening to attract more tourists and property investors.

The Federal Reserve Wants To Lower Your Wages
Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell took aim at American laborers during a press conference early last month, announcing he wants “to get wages down.” Powell cited better pay as the culprit behind soaring inflation rates across the country, saying the Federal Reserve is about to raise interest rates by half