Are you missing out on some glorious celebrations of lady-humor that have less blockbuster appeal and more of a cult following? Don’t worry, dude. I got you.

Every woman who frequents the fine drinking establishments in San Francisco may become a willing or unwilling participant in a ceremony of courtship. When a man gets a case of ‘the woo’, he’ll try any number of classic mating dances to win you over: physical prowess, fancy lures, partial-to-full nudity, or “negging” because he read some book by a guy wearing a ridiculous hat. Who can blame them? San Francisco is filled with beautiful, intelligent, funny women but now you can better prepare yourself by brushing up on common pick-ups when and where you might* expect them.