Local Comedians Cure Your Case of The Mondays at Mirthquake
I look forward to Mondays. Who thought that was possible? At around 7:30, I mosey to my 38R stop in the Tenderloin and take Muni to the Inner Richmond. There at the Abbey Tavern, local comedians Ben Kolina, Andrew Holmgren, and Jesse Hett host a hell of a show. Once you go, it’s easy to see why their audience is fastly growing. Get in the doorway at Abbey Tavern and brace yourself for Mirthquake, the funniest show this side of the San Andreas.
The show is called Mirthquake. The epicenter: Abbey Tavern.
A comedian for twenty years, Ben met Andrew fifteen years ago when the latter was starting out in comedy. By day they operate an escape room, entertainment for folks who have never felt true fear. At night, fears aside, they take the stage, helping us all escape our lives with an hour of real entertainment. Alongside friend and fellow comedian Jesse Hett, Mirthquake has been splitting sides since April 2023.
“I was hanging out [at the Abbey] on a Monday,” Andrew recalled. “It was like, 9:30 and the bartender said, ‘You’re the third customer I’ve had all day.’ I said, ‘Well, we’ve got to get some people in here then.’” Andrew had hosted a monthly show at a spot in the Mission called Motto’s until it flooded and closed down. He met Abbey Tavern manager Marianna, who agreed to house his new weekly show, then quit her job days later.
Enter Bob the bartender, who took over for Monday nights.
“…and Bob said, ‘It’s nice to meet you. I have no interest in being a part of this.’”
“He didn’t quite say it like that,” Ben jumped in. “But he did say, ‘I am trying to pass this off [onto someone else]’.”
Bob’s friendly reluctance only makes the comics incorporate him into the show. I can practically guarantee you it’ll be his birthday on your first visit. On your second visit, he’ll have another. The whole bar, whether innocent or in on it, joins in wishing Bob a happy birthday. It’s all in good fun, and the best part is, they mean that.
You’re safe to expect the unexpected
Questions you might ask yourself in the first half of the show include, Is that a gun? And, Why do they have a gun? A lot of memorable gags take days of writing and finesse to appear organic, but the best of them occur spontaneously. Modeled after the improvised weapon used to assassinate Japanese former Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, the prop came about through a visit from comedian Sam Brown (Whitest Kids U’Know).
Sam Brown, an inspiration of Andrew’s, crushed it with the best use of a Mr. Bean impression ever witnessed. He described the next comic as a young gun, to which hosts Ben and Andrew hollered, “He’s got a gun!” Call it a commentary on American gun culture, or say the joke flies in its face. It became customary to introduce all new comedians as having a gun. Think of your Columbine cringe as a hazing ritual, one you can spring on subsequent newcomers like it’s lunchtime in Colorado.
That still doesn’t scratch the surface of what makes Mirthquake better than the average comedy show. It’s more than crowd work and audience participation. Every week, Andrew, Ben, and Jesse work on creating a show that belongs to everybody. Another way they let the crowd steer is written suggestions. “That came about from us not knowing if anyone was going to show up,” Andrew said laughing. Before the show, the crowd submits topics and scenarios for comedians to contemplate onstage.
“Three people, it’s all on us,” Andrew said. “Sometimes when you’re performing for no one, which all comics have done, you don’t want to just do your material like you’re just reading off a script.”
The solution to that awkward silence? Let your audience decide.
Caution: genuine talent at work
Comedian Ben Kolina’s got a foolproof system. Onstage he has two microphones, one for good jokes, the other for dumb. Like every comic, Ben drops a bomb from the good mic now and then. But all he has to do to set things right is take the other mic and retell it. And that makes virtually anything he invents goddamned hilarious.
Andrew grew up watching Mitch Hedberg, Doug Stanhope, and the cast of IFC’s Whitest Kids U’Know. Their respective influences helped Andrew shape his sniper-like delivery while he thinks outside the box. Steven Wright, Robin Williams, and Norm Macdonald are among Ben’s comedic heroes. Ben’s humor is a laughing gas to which nobody is immune, and a trap for gullible people like me. I fall for it every time.
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With their regional comedy connections, the hosts of Mirthquake unfailingly book heavy hitters. Then they decide the theme of the show, usually the day of. Sometimes they take a media event, like the imploding sub of millionaires in 2024. Other times they borrow from NationalToday.com. For instance, Monday, July 28th was Hepatitis Awareness Day. Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee and the corpse of Seth Warshavsky declined to attend the show.
Mirthquake is not an open mic. This is homegrown San Francisco standup at its finest. With weekly honored guests, Andrew Holmgren, Jesse Hett, and Ben Kolina put forth a personal effort into making smart comedy accessible. What they offer is a unique opportunity to watch talented comedians debut riotous new material and hone their craft.
I can picture Andrew wincing at how I laud their work. “Some people get too pretentious about the way they do comedy,” he shared. “Like, ‘Oh, we’re the modern-day troubadours’—shut up. Our job is to sell drinks. To keep the bar we love open.”
This write-up is as much a love letter to the folks at Mirthquake and Abbey Tavern as it is an invitation to see the reasons why. The drinks are dangerously Broke-Ass friendly, and in a city that keeps choking customers for cash, that counts. Good comedy lets us escape life. But more importantly, it also leads us back to it, often from a changed perspective. These guys have leaned into what they do best, and it’s our privilege to enjoy it.
Mirthquake occurs 8 PM every Monday night at Abbey Tavern, 5th Avenue & Geary Boulevard. The show is free to attend and will continue to be until Ireland is free of British rule.
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